Sunday, September 28, 2003
dear u...
it was once that i thought i could have you. i kept it in my heart. i kept it in my soul. i wore in on my wrist. on that bracelet i gave you. that was what kept me going strong. made me run to you. made me come to you. made me fall at your feet. made me want to kiss you. made me want you completely.
but now i cant even be near you. cos being near you makes me realise im not worthy. cos being near you makes me realise im just another face. another story. another life. one that holds no meaning. one that cant even touch you. one you can't see in your eyes.
i never made any promises. i never said i would love you till the end of time. i'm glad i didn't say all those things. because im not a hypocrite. i never said that i would be there for you forever. i never said such things. at least i tell the truth. at least im true to myself. so here is me telling you that i have to leave you. because i am afraid. because im frightened what my love for you might do to me.
and if i feel any regret. if i feel any pain. then it would only be my fault. my regrets. n i'll swallow it down. cos i can't bear to see you hurt me. i can't bear to think of you as a bitch. so there my memories with you shall stay. happy. light. me hugging you. us playing a fool. entertaining ourselves with stupid stories. stupid games. let them remain that way.
one day we might be friends again. if we are not then its ok. if its awkward for you i will understand. maybe what u say is right. friendship is not like a jigsaw puzzle. but friendship is not built on false hopes n promises. so please don't hate me. cos i will never hate you. shut me somewhere deep in your heart. and remember me on fine days. forget me on others.
all the best to you. may all your wishes and dreams come true. all i can do now is pray for the best for you. don't forget your dreams. don't forget god.
god bless. thanks for everything.
yours,
me
--insignificant lies--
11:01 pm
